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The Difference Between the Sprout and the Bean

true tales of a whiny, overprivileged adolescent undergoing travails

11/22/07 12:46 pm - they throw the shots down, and they save the last round for the windows

For some reason, holidays make me really depressed. Right before my family comes, I'm usually curled up in the bathroom wishing I could just lock the door for the whole day.

Katherine and Tequila are going to have to fix it for this Thanksgiving, though I feel pretty gross starting at eleven in the morning.



God, please just get me through this year.

3/4/07 09:36 pm

red and blue is all I see.

2/5/07 07:45 pm - the wonders of googling yourself

1/29/07 05:28 pm - and oh my my I'd do anything to make him die

Max, James and I went to Madison's house most days after school before she too had to return to school. Some pictures from one of the afternoons:



before returning to SAIC )

1/10/07 05:49 pm - when their faces blow a fuse, it's a miracle

Because of these (joking) comments on my tendency towards seeming indecisiveness, I've been noticing that I actually am extremely decisive. I absolutely, definitely know what I want, but I only know it from one second to the next. To the untrained eye this appears to be an inconsistency. What they fail to see are the countless nanoseconds during which my sense of purpose is solid as a rock.

12/18/06 05:33 pm

I think it's weird when friends call each other, "whore" and "slut" and "hoe."

Maybe not that weird, but a little.

11/30/06 08:55 pm

Today I went to Jive with Meagan and Maddie and bought my first pair of rainbow suspenders.

I love them even more than I thought I would.

11/27/06 06:40 pm - and a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door

I'm going to go see Joanna Newsom on December 13th in Austin.

I think Marcus and Zack should come with me.

11/26/06 08:29 pm - I fell in love with this essay a long time ago.

I believe in genes and a forward flow of time and in all things visible and invisible.

 


Smaller than a light microscope sees,
a gene is a genie (is a ghost)
is one-half of each of us given by one-half of each parent.

Each of us comes from two parents
each of whom came from two parents
each of whom came from two parents
in an endless criss-cross of streams of time and persons going backwards

And each of us is as in our own incarnation
a soul inside a body
for some reason

a fire
a flame
a soul

what we desire
(that we desire)

Lighter than flesh, the soul is the glow of us.
The soul is the particular glow that the genes make when they make.
It's the soul that stands the body up and gets it moving forward.
Every body's soul is on a journey.

I believe we live in a solar system
that we go around a sun, the Sun
and that the Sun is a giant ball of flame.

I believe that most of the energy for everything on Earth
comes from the Sun except
for the energies of the Earth itself
because the Earth itself is also on fire.

Inside.
In the center.
At its core.
We know this from volcanoes.
That there is fire going on inside of the Earth.

We stand on an earth that is
a boiling ball of iron
on fire in space
spinning at its core as it circles a source of sunshine.

And each generation is short. A mutation.

first we're a child
then an adult
then a parent in turn to a child
then an old person
(hopefully)

with change, constant change all around us all ways through out
who wears what who's in charge what music sounds good

I believe that a book is a box.
Because a book carries something from some one person to another
And because it is used (and can be used) to carry ideas across time.
Which is how ideas build up.

And each of us is not only our own lives unwinding forward
but also a part of (and in service to)
the larger life of the tribe
which in turn is in service to the larger life of the species
which in turn is in service to a larger life source
lost in a bath of stars that is a galaxy
scattered in the hugeness of the universe.

We are not lost when we die.
We never go away.
Why would we go away?
When we're gone, we come back.


 - Dennis Downey


11/25/06 09:18 am

I'd be safe and warm if I was in LA.



You know the preacher likes the cold, he knows I'm gonna stay.

11/22/06 03:52 pm - fuzzy recollections



I have a love/hate relationship with vague memories.

11/7/06 08:23 pm

some days aren't yours at all, they come and go as if they're someone else's days.

10/16/06 09:55 pm

I've been in a Hejira place lately.

More or less.

10/6/06 01:14 am

I feel like I've recovered from Stockholm Syndrome.

10/1/06 10:41 pm - airbag burn is a bitch

9/24/06 01:36 pm - finally



acl 2006 )

9/21/06 03:04 pm

Now, throughout the years, I've seen many...creative ways of spelling my name. But today introduced an entirely new one: cycil.

To me, Cycil looks like the name of some yeast infection cream. It might just be.

9/20/06 09:26 pm

I shall forget you presently, my dear,
so make the most of this, your little day,
your little month, your little half a year,
ere I forget, or die, or move away,
and we are done forever; by and by
I shall forget you, as I said, but now
if you entreat me with you lovliest lie,
I will protest you with my favorite vow.
I would indeed that love were longer lived,
and oaths were not so brittle as they are,
But so it is, the nature has contrived
to struggle on without a break thus far,-
Whether or not we find what we are seeking
is idle, biologically speaking.

9/19/06 09:25 pm - Is it something we drank?

There are days, like today, where I can't help but feel like Icarus.

9/11/06 12:25 pm

I'm listening to the Final Fantasy cover of Joanna Newsom's Peach, Plum, Pear. Though I'm impressed that someone had the guts to cover a Joanna song, they didn't alter it much - it's pretty much the same. However, near the end, the added string orchestral bit is good. Maybe I'm just one for experimental covers. Now I want to hear more Joanna covers really badly.



I must compliment Meagan on Yarn and Glue. It's wonderful wonderful wonderful.
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